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10 subtle body language signals of people who get more respect
My name is Alex, and I specialise in being awkward.
I was certainly awkward in my teens and twenties. I am still often awkward.
But I’ve also learned a ton about what makes for powerful non-verbal communication.
I’m a human behaviour nerd (because I was shy and needed to improve at it).
I learned that body language both reflects and signals self-respect. This - in turn - influences the degree of respect someone else has for you.
Here’s how:
Speak slower.
I can often speak quickly, and I need to be conscious to slow it down.
When I do slow down, I think more clearly and tend to communicate more effectively.
Talking fast can signal insecurity.
Take care aesthetically.
Low-status people will denigrate the need to look good.
They say it’s ‘shallow.’
But it’s the opposite.
If you don’t have time to put on a clean shirt and trim your nasty nails, how can you possibly give a moment for others?
Those in a position to contribute are respected. And this starts with self-care.
Smile gently.
Staring into my soul like you’re about to kill my pet parakeet doesn’t put me at ease.
You might be nervous, but you can also disarm your tight facial muscles by allowing a soft smile to sprout.
You’ll be the embodiment of self-respect.
Use a good dollop of humour.
Humour is underrated.
It shows intelligence but demonstrates that you don’t take life so freaking seriously. It’s a breath of fresh air.
It also gives permission to others to relax the hell out.
Be light-hearted, and you will find respect.
Fidget less.
I get it. Coffee and your ADHD make you fidget like a chimp on speed.
I have been known to fidget. It seems to put me at ease.
But relaxing my body and slowing down genuinely makes me feel better.
It calms my mind. It is also higher status.
Use fewer words.
An experienced communicator says more with less.
You needn’t throw out the kitchen when a spoon will do.
Leave some space for mystery.
Don’t tell all; you’ll appear as ordinary as the next fool.
Do not be dependent on the outcome.
There’s a pretty sure way you can put people off: NEED things to work out the way you want them.
Not a mature look.
Yes, have goals.
But stop relying on any one interaction, sale or event to go the way you’re desperate for it to go.
You must let go.
If something doesn’t work out, smile and move on.
People admire the shit out of this and will be more likely to make the deal or sale if you’re relaxed anyway.
Say what needs to be said.
Most people dance around in the intense pursuit of conflict avoidance.
No one dares upset anyone else.
And when someone does say something closer to the truth, they tend to meet the respect of others.
Life’s too short to pussy foot around the real matters.
You’ll be a force if you prize truth and service over being nice and vanilla.
Show interest in others.
Insecure people tend to believe the self-imposed lie that they need others’ approval.
So they babble on about themselves to claw back some of that perceived lost self-worth.
Confident people don’t require any approval from anyone.
They are overflowing with worth.
So they’re far more curious about others.
Behave behind the scenes.
It’s easy to put on a show in public while a slovenly mess behind closed doors.
Those who get respect give off an aura rooted to self-love.
You can’t love yourself if you treat yourself like shit in the comfort of your home.
Have good habits inside and outside — you won’t have to put on an act.
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Thanks for reading.
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In midst of information overload, reading your email gives me peace.
Thanks Alex, really, thank you.
Confidence really is everything. I think there is another factor here as well... especially for men. When men have higher testosterone levels they tend to exude more confidence automatically. Testosterone levels have been declining for years - so this is a real problem for guys.
https://mattcook.substack.com/p/raising-testosterone-using-red-light