7 elite habits of those who fear rejection less than 98% of people
No one is totally immune to a fear of rejection.
Some may say they don't care, but they really do.
But there are habits I've learned that diminish the fear significantly.
It's a fear that holds back millions from getting what they want.
Moving past the fear with the proper habits has helped me develop better relationships, grow my business, and live a life I love.
Here are those habits:
1. See thoughts for what they are.
Thoughts are just thoughts.
They are not instructions, gospels, truths or rules to live by. Your mind throws them up to give you guidance, but you don't need to take them all so seriously.
They can be used to plan and envision healthy futures.
But they don't need to represent truth. Doubtful thoughts are not truths.
2. See the value in being rejected more often.
Getting rejected needs only sting if you view it as' rejection.'
But if you can view someone's no as information , it's an entirely different ballgame. You need data to progress in the game of life. Yeses, as well as nos, are all pieces of information you need so you can make improved decisions going forward.
What if you needed more 'rejections' to succeed?
3. Consume clean.
Unfortunately, in life, there is a bit of a trade-off between enjoying continual short-term pleasure and suffering the effects of doing this in excess.
Too many stimulants, processed food, sugars and crappy vices might feel good in the moment, but the price we pay is a body in imbalance.
Imbalanced bodies are more vulnerable to the fear of rejection.
Healthy, unstimulated bodies are calmer and help us be more courageous.
4. Actively do not tolerate insecure thoughts.
We all have insecure thoughts, no matter how seemingly confident we are on the outside.
The difference is how willing we are to turn towards these thoughts, rather than to turn away back to what is more relevant for you.
Make an agreement with yourself, right now, that you will no longer tolerate thoughts that bring you down.
If they make you feel bad, that's all you need to know. Mentally say: 'yeah, no thanks, bitch, pass.'
Let that thought float past.
Move on.
Focus on the now.
5. Know that other humans have zero power to reduce your self-worth.
This is the million-dollar concern for most.
Through school, upbringing and society, we believe that others can indeed diminish our self-esteem. The illusion checks out.
It did hurt when Johnny said something mean to us in Maths class. But what was really happening was that you were reacting to your own perception of the situation. Johnny was just projecting his own insecurities onto you.
You were not harmed. It just felt like you were. Self-esteem is an illusion maintained by our thoughts. It is not physical. See this; that your 'self' too is an illusion.
You can't be touched. You have the power to be exposed.
6. Be relentlessly self-compassionate.
Self-compassion is like blasting sunlight on a patch of skin that hasn't absorbed Vitamin D in years.
Be your own supportive life coach at every step of the way. Forgive yourself for those moments for which you berated yourself.
When you feel fear in the face of potential rejection, guess what? You're a freaking human being who cares.
You're not a fuck up. You give damn. Hold your head high.
7. Practice doing the things that invite cringe.
You won't truly be free of that icky feeling in the face of potential criticism from others until you expose yourself to these situations.
I used to be scared of my own shadow, and mainly other people. Over time, I just desensitised myself to this by talking to more people, becoming a coach, and writing in public every day.
Writing boldly is one of the best ways to actively open yourself up to criticism , not to break yourself down, but to become strong, and, ultimately, immune to criticism and perceived rejection.
Writing is one of the most powerful habits for developing self-confidence like this.
If you'd like to write but are worried about how to write stuff that attracts a growing audience, you'll love my course: Online Writing Alchemy.
Love this piece. This is one area where my neurodivergence is very helpful. I was born not give two fire trucks what other people thought of me.
Number 1, was easy, born a pragmatist.
Number 2 is a super power; their judgement frees you from their opinion mattering.
Number 3, excesses are always counterproductive.
Number 4, I love this one💕, walk away don’t wallow.
Number 5, only I get to judge my evolution.
Number 6, mistakes, missed milestones are part of the growth process. You just learned something important.
Number 7, fear is never a good enough reason, unless it is your gut is talking. Then listen!
Many rejected me, especially those I needed to meet with, but I no longer care. They don’t align with what I want to achieve and have no right to decide what’s good or bad for me.