7 tips for quickly taking you from people pleaser to self-led legend

I recently tweeted:

“If you’re compelled to do things you don’t want to do to make others happy at the expense of your energy, you’re still a slave.”

This gives some insight into the draining nature of people-pleasing and why this is not the life for you.

Simply put, people-pleasing is a compensating behaviour reflecting a fear of abandonment or rejection, often taking root in childhood.

All of us, to some degree, exhibit these behaviours.

And, whatever the source of this imbalance, there are things you can do to offset this subtle form of entrapment:

[1] Know that you are already whole in the absence of self-critical thoughts.

Let that sink in for a second. The minute you stop judging yourself, you experience pure self-belief.

There it is, you just grabbed it. Liquid gold.

It’s there by default. And when we have this unshakeable confidence, there is no need to try to please others to gain external validation…because the validation is already clearly apparent within yourself.

[2] Don’t buy into the false thoughts of who you think you are.

No one truly knows who they are because the true self transcends objective understanding. We can try to define a self-identity, but we always miss the mark.

The better play? Stop believing you know who you are. You don’t. You’re composed of the same freaking energy that holds up the moon.

Let go of these defining thoughts. They mean diddly squat.