8 ways to stop being so uptight so you perform better at life

Art made by my AI buddy in Midjourney.

Hey Malcolm, buddy, ‘stop taking life so seriously!’

Malcolm winced as he stared into his coffee.

He knew Daphne had a point.

He had to pinch himself because he’d forgotten again.

He’d been taking life seriously all week and had been walking around town like there was something firmly lodged up his backside.

He’d struggled to be productive at work, and now he was falling behind.

I agree with Daphne.

Being uptight reduces your effectiveness. It makes life miserable.

Here are some ways to loosen up:

Use struggle.

Didn’t you get the memo? Yup. It’s true.

Fussing and fighting aren’t the only ways to deal with life’s struggles.

There’s an option B.

This is the door most of us keep firmly shut. Option B asks: How can I use this struggle? 

Now you’re in creativity territory - the realm of the wise and the god-like. Stop believing the hype that a little pain is all bad.

When you use struggle to improve your life, how can you fail?

Write out all your peeves.

Getting all those concerns out of your swirling mind is cathartic.

It separates you from your doubts.

We get overwhelmed when we fail to see the separation between our worries and ourselves.

We take things personally.

The way out is to express it.

Write it all down. Something will shift in you.

You will begin to see and think logically again.

Find the humour.

Become a world-class true detective…with you as the subject.

Become great at observing when you’re taking things seriously.

Your little brow is all furrowed. Life is too short for this.

Yes, shit happens. Tragedies happen.

But here’s the real, true deal: you are 100X less effective when you’re gripped by seriousness.

OH NO WILDFIRES AND SHIT. SOME DUDE DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT. POLLY THE PARAKEET CHOKED ON A CRACKER.

We get it - it’s bad.

But if you let it influence your joy, you lose.

Woke news won. Find the humour in things where it’s appropriate.

Not all that much is as TERRIBLE DOO DOO as you make it.

For God’s sake, chill.

Work through your shame.

Many of us carry shame like an overloaded backpack on life’s long hike.

It makes us uptight and weird.

That thing we did in our youth still informs our current behaviours.

That’s some grade A silly. How to ‘work through your shame?’

You question your beliefs.

Find the thing you think you believe about yourself that you deep down know is bullshit.

Like, ‘I’m just not a very funny person.’ Question it.

Find four examples of things that disprove it.

Shame will diminish when your beliefs change.

Exercise daily.

I know. This one seems so obvious, but it makes all the difference.

When we sit about on our fat arses all day, we can’t be surprised if we feel frustrated.

This isn’t something you do once and then forget.

This is for life. Daily exercise stills the mind and lifts the spirits.

We’re the same humans essentially that roamed the Earth 150,000 years ago. They weren’t cooped up.

We were born to move and walk, so move.

Transcend personality.

Newsflash: Personality isn’t real.

We’re multifaceted beings. We have many personalities if anything.

The only reason it might seem like you have one stubborn personality is that you’re trapped by your thoughts.

You can be funny. You know this. You can be loud and crazy. You know this. You can be diligent and calm. You sure as SHIT know this too.

So stop Harry Houdini-ing yourself into one personality.

You’re free.

The way out? Doing things. Action will inform your identity.

And you can do whatever the heck you want.

Create maniacally.

If you feel stuck, it’s often your inner dragon’s attempt to tell you it’s time to stir life into that soulless corpse of yours.

You can do this through creative expression. The emphasis here is on movement and no holding back.

When we fear mistake-making, that’s when the game’s up.

You must create an environment that rewards stepping into uncertainty.

Paint more. Write more.

Focus on disgusting amounts of stuff.

Literally relax.

When Graham, the beefy dude at the beach says, ‘Just relax, man - take it easy dood,’ he’s talking pure sense.

It’s underrated.

You have the power to destress when you physically relax.

Slow your breathing. Talk slower. Let go a little.

Your thoughts will then follow.

Now you’re thinking clearly.

. . .

I hope this helped.

Much love,

Alex

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