Ditch these 7 subtle habits if you’re sick of not fulfilling your potential

Apr 10, 2024

Untethered Mind, Wednesday Edition, 5-min read.

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Back to today’s article:

Thinking you’re not doing enough.

I know it seems like there’s never a moment when we are doing enough.

It could be at work, how much socialising we’re doing, or how little exercise we’re doing. There’s always that sense of needing more.

And with this comes the appeal of thinking about these things — as though the more we think about them, the better things get.

But thinking just gets in the way of doing the next small thing before you.

That’s all that ever counts.

Doing things that make you feel shame.

Here’s a tough one that will strike concern into the hearts of many.

Many of us have guilty habits, vices, immature behaviours, and make unhealthy choices. You can probably call these out quickly.

We do these because they feel good or easy in the moment. But when we zoom out, they chip away at our confidence and energy. No bueno.

Prioritise minimising these shame and regret-inducing acts. It’s not worth sabotaging yourself like this.

Trying to grind.

The productivity gurus are putting you off from the joys of work.

And is it even ‘work?’ They talk about needing to push through the pain and to ‘grind’ to live your dreams. You do not.

Assuming it’s a grind will often put you off rather than pull you through.

Instead, slow down and find a way to enjoy yourself, no matter the task. Make it a game, or simply be more present.

Presence is the antidote.

Avoiding critical feedback.

“Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward” — John C Maxwell

Those who go far are willing to hear words that make them uncomfortable.

To accelerate your skills and progress, you must be open to facing criticism and rejection, frequently. Neither feels good, but they will inform a clear and correct route forward. Drop your ego and ask questions.

Get your ideas and products in front of more people. You must be willing to hear no.

Nos are essential because they point to the yeses.

Worrying about finding your purpose.

You don’t need to find your purpose.

If you simply do the next thing that makes the most sense for you to do, you’re on purpose. By doing, purpose has found you.

Because by doing — anything — you are seeing in very real terms what works and what does not. And isn’t that what being on purpose is all about?

You’re either doing what’s right or you are not.

And how can you know what’s right for you if you’re sitting about thinking and planning it before it’s happened?

Listening to your thoughts more than your instinct.

“All we are is peace, love, and wisdom, and the power to create the illusion that we are not.” — Jack Pransky

Instinct for most of us is covered — numbed by years of abuse.

Instinct appears when we allow our criticisms to still and our senses to come back into being.

Too many of us sabotage ourselves because we assign significance to our thoughts and frightening visions.

Meanwhile, your intuitive wisdom is firing insights at you, but they bounce off the wall of your egoic mind.

Listen to what you truly know.

Negative self-comparison.

One of the best ways to stall yourself is to compare yourself to others.

There’s plenty of opportunity for that online, and it can feel awful when we do. There will always be someone out there who we can describe as ‘doing better.’ But these are ultimately subjective opinions.

Instead of comparing yourself, which makes you feel low and inferior, do this:

Focus on your journey and how you’re improving every day.
Challenge your negative thoughts. There’s always a fresh way of seeing things.
Stop to note where you are winning.
Find self-compassion and practice realistic expectations. If you compare yourself to others in a way that makes you feel bad, your expectations aren’t right. What’s possible for you? Focus on that.
Adopt an abundance perspective and celebrate others' success. This is a habit, and it informs a more positive mindset and feeling.

The way forward is often less about what we add and more about what we subtract.

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Pssst. You’ll also love my recent book: ‘The Art of Self Respect: Twenty-five subtle habits for cultivating deep self-respect and attracting the respect of others‘ — get your copy today.