Fourteen habits that make you more laid back than 97% of people
Untethered Mind, Wednesday Edition, 4-min read.
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Ever wondered why some people seem unfazed, and others are wound up tighter than a tin toy truck?
I’ve been nervous and fidgety most of my life, but I’m hella lot better now.
I learned a lot because my anxiety was such a pain, I had to do whatever I could to minimise it.
When I’m more laid back, everything in life seems to go better.
There are a few habits you can adopt that will help you be the talk of Cool Town:
Be intolerant of self-critical thoughts.
There’s a simple litmus test to show you when you’re allowing the ‘wrong’ thoughts to dictate your life and sanity:
They make you feel bad.
If a thought stresses you, you must let it go at all costs. Be ruthlessly intolerant to thoughts that worry you.
When you do, you think more clearly, and you make better decisions.
Go for a walk.
This one never fails. Walks are not frivolous. They must be non-negotiable.
Weave many walks through your day.
They’re good for posture, mental well-being, keep you trim, and make you more creative.
Meditate on physical blocks in the body.
Ask yourself this:
‘What’s stopping me from feeling totally at ease in myself right now?’
Whatever feelings come up, focus on them for a while. Those feelings will fade merely by concentrating on them.
This will literally make you physically more at ease.
Focus on others.
I know the pain of being self-conscious, especially in groups.
I overthink things and take things personally. I end up crippled in doubt.
The way to feel better when you might otherwise be insecure is to focus on other people.
You must forget yourself. Focus on making others feel relaxed and happy, and you will be super chill.
Create more.
To create is to express what it means to be human.
Dude, this is what we do. When we stop creating, whether it be in starting new relationships, making art, or closing business deals, we cease to live. This is depressing.
This is the reactive and even passive life.
Create something, even if it’s small — this will feed good vibes into your soul, relaxing you.
Avoid stimulants.
I know — you don’t want to hear this one, but it had to be said.
There’s a clear link (duh) between consuming stimulants, from smoking to tv binging, and feeling aroused.
If that arousal is coupled with negative thoughts, you’ll feel miserable.
Avoiding stimulants reconnects you with the natural energy that was there all along, and is in fact, far more powerful and evenly balanced.
Stop wishing for specific outcomes.
When we rely on something going exactly how we envisioned it, we get needy and depressed if we fall short.
Instead, have goals, but be flexible as you progress towards them.
Be a champion of other people.
Similar to focusing on others, this takes it to another level.
Most people are too worried about themselves to consider others much.
In fact, those people are more likely to be stewing on how they want others to fail.
Go the other way. Actively seek out ways in which you can make others look good. Send someone a supportive text.
Write good things about a friend on social media.
The good karma you create from this alone will be life-changing.
Stop taking sh*t so seriously.
Yeah, caught you.
You’re doing that thing again where something hasn’t even happened but you’re overestimating what it means in your mind.
Remember, it’s in the mind, and you have fabricated its meaning.
So let go. That’s how you automatically fall back into enjoying your life regardless.
Stop grinding.
Grinding is inflicting pressure on yourself.
It reflects resistance and will seize you up and make you suck at more things.
This is not to say you should not take on challenges. You must. But you needn’t grit teeth through those challenges.
Relax the shoulders. You will fair better, and people will look on with respect.
Breathe.
You know it.
Three long, slow breaths in and three long, slow breaths out.
That’s all it takes to go from nervy to sexy.
Soften your face.
I can sometimes catch myself staring intensely at someone when I’m in my head, which is unsettling for others but also reinforces my stress.
Regularly remind yourself to soften the face and the rest of your body. When you do, the mind relaxes, too.
This is the fundamental approach to laid-back living.
Relocate your purpose.
Those who are not on purpose will often fall into the trap of wasting their time and mistreating themselves.
The opposite is true for those who find their purpose.
But how, Alex?
Figure out how you can best serve others in a way that emphasises your unique strengths.
Choose happy.
Happiness is not dependent on the conditions around you as much as that illusion is a strong one.
Making more money doesn’t make you happy. Thinking you feel more secure because you have more money does make you happy.
Difference there. Because our ‘happiness’ depends on our thinking modes, we have the power to choose happy.
We do this by side-stepping unhappiness.
You can be happy in the rain.
Thanks for reading!
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Wonderful reminders, and a few that made me chuckle. Good stuff!
Great list!