How I learned to enjoy life more (instead of taking everything so seriously)

I used to fall into misery because I didn’t know the alternative.

Society trained me to take every little thing seriously.

The news piped bullshit into my psyche, tricking me into thinking everything was awful when beauty was everywhere.

Now, we have social media to multiply that effect.

I learned I could turn my life around by finding a way to enjoy it. Not waiting for the good things to show up. But to create that reality.

Because that’s what we do, every second. Every step. Creating.

Here’s how I started having more fun in my life:

First, I realise fun is on the table for me (most of the time).

Sure, not everything can be fun. Your pet hamster dying is not fun. In that moment.

But most of us miss the fact that fun can absolutely be the default state of our lives. We miss this because we operate on the faulty assumption that things aren’t supposed to be fun.

‘It should be a grind.’

‘It should be tough.’

‘It should be uncomfortable.’

Nah. I don’t buy that anymore.

I view this as true because of something I learned in my late twenties:

We create our reality. Our perspective shapes our experience. Our thoughts determine our emotions.

I can choose to be angry at everything.

Or I can choose to have fun.

The choice is there, not only in the things that are obviously and immediately fun, like playing Hungry Hippos.

There can be fun in running a bath, doing the dishes, working on my essay, talking with strangers, and walking to the shops.

Next, I understand this powerful truth:

Life is fun in the absence of unnecessarily critical thoughts.

We can go through our whole lives judging and resisting, and assuming that’s how it is and that’s how it all feels. But it needn’t be.

It’s not about forcing yourself to have fun. Like with anything psychology-related, I learned that the gold lies in letting go of things.

When I take a break for a damn second and stop harshly judging, I see that a sense of curiosity, optimism and play emerges.

These are all components of the fun life.

Next, I try to reconnect with genuine curiosity.

This is often lost as we harden into adulthood. Our lack of curiosity sits at the root of why things no longer seem fun.

Because curiosity happens when I stop trying to be right about everything, and I open up to the possibility that I don’t yet know.

It’s curiosity that kept us excited and energised as children. And it’s that state of being we have access to today. Just because you’re a wrinkly-ass adult does not mean you can’t reconnect with your curious inner child.

Because your ‘inner-child’ isn’t an actual person. It’s a state. It’s where lack of judgement meets your inner creative flow. That flow that is determining the unravelling of the Universe as I write this.

When I’m in a miserable state, I forget this child exists. I see the worst in things.

When I’m in a joyful state, I remember that child can carry me.

I find things working out because I decided to play my way through life, allowing myself to be cut and bruised through the process, as children do.

And when I fall, I get back up with minimal complaint, because I know the pain is amplified through the complaint — the resistance to what is real, and what can sting.

I get over my self.

Finally, those for whom fun is their standard operating procedure have lost interest in what most obsessively chase:

Self-protection.

Self-centeredness may seem empowering, but it ultimately stifles.

‘Focus on yourself’ is tired, overused and misconstrued as a self-help philosophy.

I care for my well-being, but I am no longer obsessively driven by this need alone.

This needn’t mean being a doormat. It needn’t even mean dedicating my life to others, like some martyr.

But it does mean letting go of my grasping need to prove myself.

It’s about inviting people into the reality that none of us need to be good to ourselves at the expense of being good to others.

I aim to lead by example. I’m not perfect at this, and I see this as a practice.

A fun life is a life in which contribution, creating cool things for others to enjoy, genuine kindness, and seemingly unnecessary amounts of giving are the default.

And when I give ‘unnecessarily,’ I find I get more of what I want with less effort anyway.

A fun life is one where I forget myself and focus on existing without walking on eggshells. And without taking everything personally.

Because why would I if I realise I am already everything I need to be?

Nothing to protect, nothing to hide.

Just plenty to share, because there is no end to that reservoir.

When I see the truth in this, I’m free.

If you’re done taking everything so seriously and want to rewire your mind to enjoy your life in less than a few hours…

You might like my Untethered Mind course.

This course guides you, through a series of necessary insights about your thoughts, to quickly reduce self-criticism.

When you overthink less, you’ll find it far easier to enjoy your life, bringing a creative energy to what you do.

Learn more here.

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