How to be happy regardless of your crappy circumstances
Untethered Mind, Sunday Edition, 3.5-min read.
—
Some people experience more pain, resistance and hardship than others.
Some people experience more joy and peace than others.
But the connection between someone’s life situation and their happiness is unclear.
The connection is not causal.
You can have people in comparative poverty who look forward to waking up, and millionaires who are itching to jump off bridges.
I’m not saying that having certain conditions in place, such as a loving family, money, and strong relationships, cannot influence how you feel.
But I am saying there is much we can do to shift our reliance on external things towards very little reliance.
Can we be more happy more of the time — regardless of our circumstances?
I think we can.
So, whether it’s raining, money is low, or terrible things keep happening around you, you can still be happy.
Wait, really?
Yes.
How do we get there?
We must grasp the meaning of ‘happiness.’
Happiness isn’t a thing, but I have used it here to point to a state that is absent of your resistance to life.
This way, when we don’t resist reality, we experience something we can liken to peace. That’s what I mean by happiness. We’re less perturbed by the things that can bother many.
It’s your lack of resistance that makes you realise happiness — not having certain conditions in place.
Understanding this will change your life.
This is real freedom.
We need to understand that we are happy by default.
Even if you have three managers hounding you, a pretty girl ignored your texts, your dog just died, and you’re broke, you can be happy.
You are happy in that moment when you let go of judging anything.
It’s similar to forgetting.
You can have something bad happen and feel stressed about it for hours, but then you can get distracted. Maybe a long-lost friend called you on the phone. You forget your troubles for a moment, and you feel peace.
That’s what I mean.
You might think, ‘Well, surely if bad things are happening, I need to think about them. I need to worry to exert some control over my life; otherwise, I’d just unravel like a loose spool of string.’
You could — if you love to feel worried.
But when you’re worried, you’re less effective. You know this. Worry is never conducive to performance. You miss things. You make more mistakes. Your creativity struggles to surface for air.
So, to be happy, regardless of your situation, means nurturing your ability to forget.
You forget, not because you’re a dope.
You forget because you know you’re more creative and alive when you forget.
You forget, and you remain open. With your channels now open, you can receive the insight you need to know what to do next and what to do best.
This becomes an upward spiral.
You don’t need to be happy.
You need to resist less, be creative and be in motion.
Others might confuse you for happy, but you’ll know you just learned how to forget.
Thanks for reading!
Join us as a paying member to enjoy these additional benefits:
“You have no idea how your words have helped me move through the most challenging time of my life. Game-changing!“ - Janet Hall, subscriber
You also get:
Access to exclusive Monday member’s content podcast: Stroll with Alex.
Access all courses and future courses (worth $50+ each).
Free instant access to Untethered Mind course to reduce anxiety (worth $290+)
Recent review: “I hesitate to say this because it’s such a bold statement, but this is the best course I’ve ever taken...ever...university included. Alex. Thank you." ~ George Sisneros, coach.
Support Alex as a writer.
Access all locked archive posts and videos.
Pssst. You’ll also love my recent book: ‘The Art of Self Respect: Twenty-five subtle habits for cultivating deep self-respect and attracting the respect of others‘ — get your copy today.
Reach out to Alex today if you’d like to discuss working with him directly to help you with life challenges and achieving your goals.
I enjoyed reading this, Alex. Thank you. In the ancient spiritual tradition of Vedanta, the seers would say, happiness is as unreal as sadness because both are from the realm of the Mind, and hence best ignored or practiced in moderation. Overall, they’d say, it’s best to remain a “sakshi” or a witnessing consciousness to both happiness and sadness in life, since the only thing for real is our divine Consciousness. Of course, this is a vast simplication of the thinking, but your call to “resist” or apply distance from the experience of happiness is very close to the principle of “sakshi” and I thought you might find it interesting:) If you search for “sakshi” on my site, you’ll see a post I wrote about it.
Happiness is something that comes from within. Gratitude and living one's values is one of the things which leads to happiness. Yes, we shouldn't resist reality but go with the flow knowing we can't control outside events but only what is within us.