We’ve all done things we regret.
We’re human beings, and life is about learning from — and adjusting to — the wake of our mistakes.
Here are some concise ideas that have helped me move on quickly:
Acknowledge your feelings without judging them.
Let them rise up in you so you feel them fully. Then watch them slowly dissipate.
Regret is a natural human emotion that signals you care about your actions and their consequences.
Accept that having regrets means you care and that you are growing.
Give yourself a break.
You can’t have a perfect track record. If you did, you wouldn’t ever understand and improve.
Find a way to bring self-compassion back into the picture.
Know this: holding on tightly to what you did renders you less effective in making better decisions today.
Your mental energy is better spent on present choices.
Extract the lesson from your experience and reflect on it for a moment.
You’ll always find a lesson. This puts you in a responsible position, which empowers you. Write it down.
This will transform the regret into practical wisdom that can guide your choices in future.
Share your story with someone you trust.
Speaking about your regret and having someone share their thoughts often reveals perspectives you hadn’t considered.
Connection has a healing effect that dissipates this emotional burden.
Recognise that your past self made decisions with the information and capabilities available at that time.
You were doing the best you knew to do given the state of your thinking then.
Thoughts and beliefs can be powerful, making us do things that aren’t always the most intelligent.
Seeing things this way makes it far easier to forgive yourself.
Extract the good reason you did the thing you now regret.
Why did you do it? You will find one way of explaining it that actually does make good, productive sense.
There’s always a ‘good reason’ that we chose to jump on because our perspective was as it was at the time.
Seeing this is crucial for cutting yourself some slack.
Getting stuck in regretful overthinking is often a sign you’re too out of touch with your body or your body is in imbalance mode.
This means it might be time for a walk or some exercise.
Or your diet sucks. Both are within your control to improve quickly, and so will your mind.
Realise that the choice you made is now in the past and out of your control.
You are free to let go.
If aspects of the situation are in your control, take constructive action where possible to mediate the situation.
But otherwise, give yourself permission right now to move on.
Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a good friend who made the same mistake, with understanding and encouragement to move forward.
Many of us feel regret harder because we beat ourselves up.
You’re doing yourself a great disservice by amplifying the pain of it.
Having regret is proof you’re growing and that you care.
It’s time to move on.
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Useful and nice article. Not dealing with regrets that interfere with our thinking can be real barrier in our lives