Oooh. This is a doozy. I started a new job and after a few weeks i realized that 90% of the employees only spoke white lies, 100% of the time. I had NEVER seen or heard anything like it. I would stand there and listen to my boss lie to someones face, knowing we all knew the real story. FF to a meeting where they say no one respects them. Ummm. Yeah. No kidding. If I hear them lie to someone else why in the world would i believe for one second that they are telling ME the truth?
The crazy part was after a couple months i caught myself telling a lie. I went home that night in complete disbelief and wracked my brain to figure out how to "undo" what I said. I was so upset with myself that i brought it up in every moment i could after that. When someone would say "what do i tell them?" I would say, "how about the truth?!"
In this case, just about everyone in the building is a known people pleaser and lying is part of it.
Hi Alex- A few personal examples about how you failed to say what you really mean would have made this piece much more impactful. As it stands, we have the husk of the admonition without any flesh to support it.
Well said! I am striving to practice this everyday and in every moment - for too many years I was frightened of being vulnerable, of being cancelled or being the odd one out... I learnt my lessons the hardest way possible and so I am taking step after step to communicate my ideas, opinions, experiences and boundaries with empathy and compassion but mostly with firmness, authority and intelligence.
Powerfully on-point.
Thanks Matt :)
Oooh. This is a doozy. I started a new job and after a few weeks i realized that 90% of the employees only spoke white lies, 100% of the time. I had NEVER seen or heard anything like it. I would stand there and listen to my boss lie to someones face, knowing we all knew the real story. FF to a meeting where they say no one respects them. Ummm. Yeah. No kidding. If I hear them lie to someone else why in the world would i believe for one second that they are telling ME the truth?
The crazy part was after a couple months i caught myself telling a lie. I went home that night in complete disbelief and wracked my brain to figure out how to "undo" what I said. I was so upset with myself that i brought it up in every moment i could after that. When someone would say "what do i tell them?" I would say, "how about the truth?!"
In this case, just about everyone in the building is a known people pleaser and lying is part of it.
Brilliant comment Heather, thank you. This can absolutely happen, especially in a corporate setting - it's why I left a long time ago...
Hi Alex- A few personal examples about how you failed to say what you really mean would have made this piece much more impactful. As it stands, we have the husk of the admonition without any flesh to support it.
You're right - I forgot
Advertising to your title, I suggest the missing soul of your article are the mea culpa examples.
Autocorrect did not like ‘adverting’- the intended word (not ‘advertising’).
Well said! I am striving to practice this everyday and in every moment - for too many years I was frightened of being vulnerable, of being cancelled or being the odd one out... I learnt my lessons the hardest way possible and so I am taking step after step to communicate my ideas, opinions, experiences and boundaries with empathy and compassion but mostly with firmness, authority and intelligence.
💞
You cannot please everyone.
Sometimes we sway too far from our authentic selves and end up being rip-offs of so called 'societal ideals'.