Seven weird habits that make people obsessively attracted to you
Before we jump in…
Learning from great minds doesn’t need to take forever. Shortform helps with that.
I love finding genuinely useful habits that help me learn each day.
Shortform reduces my learning time. It’s not just book summaries, but a shortcut to effective learning. With chapter-by-chapter guides, and interactive exercises, it helps me quickly understand and apply the best ideas from any book.
If you want access to thousands of book guides for the price of a book a month, join Shortform today.
Untethered Mind readers get a free trial of unlimited access and an extra 20% discount on the annual memberships when you click here: shortform.com/untetheredmind
Enjoy!
Back to the article…
—
I spent years trying to figure out why some people are magnetic while others fade into the background.
After observing countless interactions, I realised something that changed how I see attraction entirely.
The most compelling people don’t follow the social scripts we’re taught.
They do things that seem counterintuitive, even strange, until you understand the psychology behind them.
Here are the seven weird habits I learned that can create obsessive attraction:
1. Disagree without explaining yourself.
Most people rush to justify their opinions the moment someone challenges them.
They over-explain, provide evidence, and desperately try to convince.
But I’ve watched the most magnetic people do something different. They state their position calmly and then… nothing. There’s no justification, and no desperate attempt to win the argument.
They let their conviction speak for itself.
This drives people crazy in the best way. When you don’t feel the need to convince others, it signals an unshakeable confidence that is attractive.
2. Reveal your flaws before others discover them.
Here’s something that seems backwards: the people who openly admit their weaknesses become more attractive, not less.
I learned this watching a friend who would casually mention his tendency to rush his words before anyone else could point it out. Instead of losing respect, people found him more trustworthy.
Self-awareness is disarming. When you own your imperfections, you remove the power others might have to use them against you.
3. Take longer pauses in conversation.
Most people are terrified of silence.
They fill every gap with words, worried that quiet moments signal awkwardness or disinterest.
But the most captivating people I know do the opposite. They pause before responding. They let silence hang in the air without rushing to fill it. They take their time.
This creates a strange tension that draws people in.
Your words carry more weight when they’re not competing with constant chatter.
4. Show less excitement about good news.
This one feels wrong until you see it in action.
When something great happens, most people’s energy spikes to match their excitement. They become animated, loud, and expressive.
How about receiving good news with calm satisfaction? A subtle smile. A measured response.
Their emotional stability makes others wonder what it would take to truly move them.
This restraint creates an irresistible mystery, but it also trains you to derive energy internally rather than from external circumstances.
5. Ask for things without justifying why you deserve them.
I used to explain why I needed something every time I made a request. And I couldn’t understood why I felt like a bit of a boy when I did.
Then I noticed how differently people responded when I simply asked directly. ‘Could you help me with this?’
There was no elaborate explanation or guilt-inducing backstory.
When you ask without justification, you communicate that your needs matter simply because they’re yours. That’s huge.
6. Share fewer details about your personal life.
While everyone else overshares on social media and in conversations, magnetic people reveal just enough to intrigue but never enough to satisfy curiosity completely.
I’ve seen this with people who mention an interesting weekend plan but don’t elaborate.
Others might reference a challenging project without explaining every detail.
They understand that mystery creates more attraction than transparency.
People are drawn to what they can’t fully understand or predict.
7. End conversations first.
Most people cling to interactions like scared fish, especially with people they find interesting.
They extend conversations past their natural conclusion, hoping for more connection.
But I noticed the most attractive people often do the opposite. They end pleasant conversations while they’re still on a high.
This creates a craving for more. When you’re the one who determines when interactions end, you maintain control over how you’re remembered.
These habits feel strange because they go against much of what we’re taught about being likeable. We’re told to be agreeable, open, available, and accommodating.
But attraction isn’t logical. It’s psychological.
The people who understand this create a gravitational pull that others can’t explain.
That’s when you become the person others can’t stop thinking about.
If you enjoyed this, you’ll love my Untethered Mind course, which guides you from feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts to mentally strong within a few days.
If you’d like to support me and gain access to hundreds of locked articles like this one, you’ll want to become a paying subscriber here on Substack for less than the price of a couple of large coffees each month: