Stop worrying about what you want, and ask yourself this dynamite question instead (this WILL change your life)
Hey Esmerelda, why are you upset?
Oh, I don't know Sam, I just feel like I don't have what I want yet.
I've tried so hard to be happy.
Things just never seem to pan out the way I wished they could.
I've put everything I can into living the life I want, on my own terms...
And this is why Esmerelda will continue to suffer and sigh.
But why? That just seems unfair.
Shouldn't we all do what makes us happy?
Shouldn't we all make sure we get what we want?
No, no you shouldn't - at least - not as a direct solution to dissatisfaction.
Understanding why this might be sits at the root of how so much improved in my life.
I used to think that to be happy and feel good about myself, I had to consider my needs.
But if I obsess about what I want, guess what happens?
I position myself as a needy character.
I am dependent.
Dependency means we need conditions to be met to be happy.
And conditions always change.
So your happiness, joy, and sense of stability will always change, and you will wonder why you feel all glum.
So, what's the flip? Because Alex, I know you do a good flip.
The flip is to change the question you ask yourself each day.
Stop asking: what do I want?
Start asking: what do others need?
This isn't about you being some Jesus-like figure - a martyr of sorts who undercuts themselves to keep others happy.
NO, dum dum face.
It's the opposite.
You need to be depended on, or at least in the process of contributing.
And you're in the best position to create this reality.
That's where ALL the security, joy, happiness and pride you are looking for lies.
Upgrade your life and ask the question of questions.
'What remarkable thing can I create that others would love?'
It needn't necessarily be a product, though it can be.
It can be simply to make someone else feel good for a change.
It can be that you surprise someone with a compliment when you otherwise wouldn't.
It could be that you set aside six months to write an absolutely jaw-dropping work of science fiction (finally).
Now we're cooking with red hot coconut oil.
No one asks this because they're too busy picking their nose in misery, wondering if Sally will return their text.
But you're a badass G who's different.
You're out here creating remarkable, standout, extraordinary things.
This approach can feel like you're cheating.
Because only when you commit to QUALITY will untapped energy reserves rise up to tickle you from the inside.
Focus on being needed.
Not on your freaking self.
Sure, sure, wise-guy - obviously tend to your foundational needs of trimming your nails and washing your undies.
But beyond looking and feeling good about yourself, drop the childish game of ME ME ME ME.
I promise, your life can drastically improve through a simple shift in the question you ask.
(You got this).
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