Understanding this one thing can help you go from nervous to relaxed in meetings:

Untethered Mind, Sunday Edition, 2-min read.

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I worked recently with a guy who struggled to relax in work meetings.

He wanted to chill out, and so he tried to control all his negative thoughts.

This made him even more uptight.

He was in his head.

Inhabiting a lost body in a meeting.

You ever been there?

Just lost in your chaotic attempts to still a juddering ship?

Self-conscious.

So I asked him:

'What if your job wasn't to relax yourself?'

'Wait, what did you say, Alex?' He said, perking up in his chair.

'What if your job was to make those around you relaxed?' I said.

He looked at me through sparkling eyes. It was like a huge burden had been lifted.

Attention on them, not you.

Penny dropped.

He saw that his entire emotional experience was down to where he directed his attention.

Direct it inward, and you get anxious.

Direct it outward, to helping people, and you embody relaxed leadership.

When we direct our attention outwards, we take on the role of responsible humans.

This is how we were meant to be.

Self-consciousness was only meant to be used as a tool, but so many of us get eaten alive by it.

Why?

Because we allow it to. We overestimate its value.

It’s time to return to outward-facing you.

It’s where your value in the world is felt most keenly.

This is where wellness thrives.

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