Everyone’s talking about emotional intelligence, but few, including me for a long time, understand what it really means.
It took me some time to realise I’d been learning about it for years without even realising I was studying emotional intelligence.
In a nutshell, emotional intelligence is your ability to relate to your emotions and those of others in a calm, understanding and compassionate way.
It’s the difference between exploding at your friend because you’re stressed about what your boss said, versus seeing your anger for what it is and taking a breath instead.
Emotional intelligence leads to an overall improved mood, vastly better mental health, and more harmony in your relationships.
Here are 10 ways to be more emotionally intelligent in a distracted age:
Recognise that your feelings are coming from your thoughts, not your circumstances.
Two people can experience the same situation and feel completely different about it.
The difference is in how seriously they take their thoughts.
Look for the good in perceived ‘tough’ situations or ‘failures.’
Emotionally stupid people are quick to react to ‘bad stuff.’ They flare into a rage without a breath or any thinking. It’s automatic.
This wreaks havoc on those around them and sets life on a chaotic course. Emotional intelligence means giving oneself a moment to breathe.
To find the hidden lesson. To take the calm, mature path.
Do not take anything personally, even when you don’t know exactly why an annoyance isn’t worth your time.
Miserable people make everything about them, and they push people away when they do. They also lose self-respect.
Emotionally intelligent people respect their energy and don’t bother trying to make sense out of every little perceived injustice.
Life is far better when you give fewer Fs.
Recognise that other people are living in their own thought-created reality.
That person who seems ‘difficult’ to you is the reality you created.
They’re just experiencing life through their current thinking, which may be difficult for them.
This creates instant empathy and an uplifted mood.
Choose to be upbeat when the expectation is to stew and be annoyed.
There is little that warrants anger or passive-aggressive behaviour. Everyone’s going through it.
Emotionally intelligent people bring lightness to situations, rather than pull on it with further weight.
Understand that moods pass naturally.
You don’t need to do anything about low moods except let them be.
Fighting them or trying to think your way out actually keeps them around longer.
Trust that fresh thinking will come.
When you’re stuck in a problem or emotional spiral, new perspectives arrive naturally when you stop pushing so hard to figure things out.
Stop analysing your emotions.
You don’t need to follow the trend these days of trying to figure out what all your emotions mean.
It’s a waste of time. You simply feel what your thoughts are saying. And thoughts change like the wind. It doesn’t matter.
The more you dissect why you feel something, the more stuck you become.
Feelings shift naturally when you leave them alone.
Trust your innate mental health.
You have a natural capacity for wellbeing that doesn’t depend on getting your thinking right or managing your emotions perfectly.
You are mentally well the minute you are present, without piling on judgement.
Even ‘nutjobs’ have lucid moments. That’s presence, when their thoughts are still for a moment.
See that everyone is doing their best given their current level of consciousness.
People aren’t broken or flawed.
They’re just seeing life through whatever understanding they have right now. To them, it makes total sense, even if it seems completely irrational to you.
Emotionally intelligent people get this. They realise they can’t control others.
They can only inspire others the best they can.
If you’d like to take your mastery of emotional intelligence to the next level, you might like my Untethered Mind course.
It guides you through a series of insights about the mind that will greatly increase your emotional intelligence in a matter of hours.
How?
Because the root of this intelligence is the ability to nurture a calm and aware mind. That’s what this course helps with.
Learn more here and get access today.
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