I’m sure you’ve heard the saying: ‘the quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your life.’
Our man Napoleon Hill and that other dude, James Allen of ‘As a Man Thinketh’ fame, were proponents of such a platitude.
It makes good enough sense.
If we think negative thoughts, our reality and perception will be tarnished. We focus on what isn’t working, making life seem bleak.
By this logic, if we think positive thoughts and continually steer our attention to what’s beautiful and great, our experience will reflect this.
Well, friend, I’m here to throw a big rusty spanner in the machine.
Having worked on myself and hundreds of clients over the years,
But this isn’t quite how it works.
Understanding that the quality of our experience is directly connected to our thoughts is a major step in the right direction for your mental wellness.
This is true.
Many people struggle because they overlook the significance of the role thoughts play in our experience. They assume their ‘difficult’ circumstances are what determines a difficult life.
Seeing that this is not true is the first step in experiencing more joy, creativity and peace more of the time.
Our thoughts absolutely determine the quality of our experience.
So, why am I saying that the QUALITY of our thoughts does NOT determine the quality of our lives?
Because of this one thing:
Our thoughts will be a mix of good and bad until the day we die.
We can’t change our thoughts at will.
But we CAN do this:
We can change how we interact with the range of thoughts that will come up.
Or better said, we can change the degree to which we let GO of our thoughts.
People who suffer and experience tons of stress have not internalised this yet. They see a stressful thought come up - as they inevitably do. But instead of letting it float by and returning to what they were doing...
They hook their grubby mits into the thought.
They assume the thought holds power and meaning, and significance.
It does not.
Your thoughts are a conveyor belt of visions, memories, suggestions, concepts.
Good and bad on loop.
Ethereal and ephemeral and ultimately meaningless.
Tools, maybe.
Meaning, no.
Fact, certainly not.
The truth - hell no.
So stop buying into them.
To have a good life, we need to develop the skill of healthy thought management.
It’s not about the quality of our thoughts that determines the quality of our lives.
It is about our ability to remain present and in action that does.
Let insights flow up without effort when relaxed. That’s how to benefit from our minds.
Use thoughts to plan, sure.
Just don’t get into the habit of the miserable masses, which is to buy into the false seriousness of thoughts.
No thought needs to be taken seriously.
And we don’t need to grit our teeth and think positive thoughts either.
Positive feelings will arise without effort when we’re in the flow of life.
All you need is to be here.
If this makes sense to you and you want to absorb this mindset for good…
You’ll love my course: Untethered Mind.
It guides you through an updated way of relating to your thoughts so it actually sticks for good, rather than a page of a book you forget.
Join over 230 happy students here.
Alex
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Can't believe you just told me James Allen didn't quite get it right. I have to rethink my whole life now . . . . . 😗
The real version of the platitude is not "think better thoughts" but "stop needing them to mean anything." Grateful you keep writing these 🤍