11 hacks that make you instantly immune from giving an F about what others think
I’ve given many s#its about what people think all my life.
It made me depressed and attracted even more disrespect.
It never felt good, so I did everything possible to learn about not giving an F.
1. First, know that not giving an F is not about being anti-social.
It’s about accepting reality and being OK with it.
When we’re OK, we are happier, which benefits the people around us.
The version of you that doesn’t care is the version other people actually want around.
2. Let go of taking yourself so seriously.
Self-esteem is something you’ve made up in your head. Use your common sense, but don’t allow your need to look perfect pollute your joy.
No one looks dumber than someone trying very hard not to.
3. Put your attention on making others feel good and more empowered.
Now the attention is OFF you, and you’ll be less self-conscious.
Try it in a single conversation and watch how much lighter the room gets.
4. Know that people are just as weird, fucked up, and insecure as you.
No exceptions. NO exceptions.
We are all connected in this, and this is soothing.
The guy scowling at you over the counter is wondering if his shirt looks weird.
5. You will offend people no matter what stance you take.
Accept this, speak with heart, and learn to be OK with the reality that people will dislike you.
The day you accept this is the day you start saying anything worth hearing.
6. Your performance and flow go DOWN when you’re self-conscious.
The antidote to self-consciousness?
Stop trying anything. You don’t need a clever ‘mindset.’ You need to relax.
Watch a kid play. Nobody told them to be cool, and that’s exactly why they are.
7. Act the part.
Lean into the part of you unaffected by other people’s opinions of you.
You can find that side of you.
You need to be open to the idea that this part of you exists.
Imagine walking into a room where nobody in it could ever judge you.
8. The most relaxed people don’t care that they don’t have all the answers.
No one really knows shit. So stop preplanning.
Let it flow.
Let your creative wisdom rise up when you need it.
Some of my best lines have come out of my mouth a second before I knew I had them.
9. Treat your body better.
You can’t be at ease in your own skin when you treat your body like garbage and continually feel like trash.
You must do what you can to feel good and maintain a stable mood.
Move daily, drink water, and sleep at a sensible hour. Boring works.
10. Do nothing.
Too many gurus talk about all this stuff you need to think about when you’re in the moment.
That gets you out of the moment, dumb head. Relax and focus on being where you are.
Presence happens automatically when you stop chasing it.
11. Stop taking your thoughts seriously.
Thinking about what’s ‘wrong’ with you or how scary other people are makes it worse.
You’re reacting to your story about them, which is mostly fiction.
People are not scary. Your thoughts are. So ignore them, and face up to people…
Who are mostly as scared as you.
There’s one underestimated thing stopping most from being calmer in themselves: self-respect.
I know because I struggled to get anywhere in my twenties, and couldn’t figure out the bottleneck until I realised it was a self-identity issue.
Learn the 25 little daily habits I use that reinforce a powerful identity of self-respect in achievable daily steps.
My book shows you how (comes with 3 awesome bonuses):
Get the Art of Self Respect book bundle here.
“One of the best self-help books I’ve read in a long time. Alex exposes, in a clear and concise manner, the behaviors we should study, practice, and adopt to develop better self-respect. This, in turn, leads to earning respect from others.” - Jean Pierre
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Really excellent article. Thank you!!!
Appreciate the 11 hacks. Will likely get the other "good stuff" soon. Thank you!