12 liberating truths about human nature that remove 95% of your interpersonal stress

Most of the frustration I often felt with other people stemmed from a misunderstanding of how humans work.

Once I saw these truths, the weight lifted. I stopped taking things so personally. I stopped expecting people to be different from what they are.

I felt strangely free.

Here are twelve insights that brought me a ton of relief:

1. People aren’t reacting to you. They’re reacting to their idea of you.

When someone gets upset with you or acts strange, they’re responding to the story they’ve created in their mind about who you are and what you mean to them.

That story is never accurate because we’re always dealing with made-up thoughts.

You can’t control their interpretation, so stop trying. With this, you’ll find little need to respond in anger.

2. No one who genuinely likes themselves feels compelled to hurt others.

Those petty attacks come from people wrestling with their own inner turmoil.

Hurt people often harbour insecurity that leads them to believe that hurting others somehow levels the playing field.

When you understand this, their behaviour stops feeling personal. It’s just their fear leaking out.

3. Most people are operating on autopilot, not making conscious choices.

People who do dumb stuff like cut you off in traffic or who forget your birthday aren’t necessarily plotting your demise.

They’re caught up in their own mental bullshit, reacting unconsciously to whatever’s dominating their thoughts.

And you know how those thoughts can dominate your day, leading you to do dumb stuff too.

Forgive them like you would yourself.

4. Everyone is doing the best they can with their current level of understanding.

People make terrible decisions, not because they’re morons, but because they are acting out a reality defined by their thoughts.

They have certain beliefs about the world that skew what’s actually good and true.

The coworker who micromanages, or the parent who criticises, is responding to their thought patterns as if they were true. It makes total sense to them, given their state of thinking.

You can’t expect someone to act from wisdom they haven’t developed yet.

5. Your need for others to change is the source of your suffering, not their behaviour.

The moment you let go of the demand that people should be different, you’re free of burden.

Their behaviour might still be problematic, but your peace no longer depends on them changing. It can’t. No one wants to change unless they want to change.

You can set boundaries, walk away, or accept reality. All without the internal battle.

6. People forget about you far more than you think they do.

Still thinking about that embarrassing thing you said? They’ve already moved on.

The mistake you made barely registered.

Most people are too busy worrying about their own lives to catalogue your failures.

You’re carrying a burden no one else is even holding. You’re free to let it go quickly.

7. Hurt feelings are just thoughts you’re believing, not facts about reality.

When someone’s words sting, it’s not the words themselves. It’s the meaning you’re assigning to them.

A thought is literally dictating your mood right now. So drop the thought, and the hurt dissolves.

You’re rarely upset for the reason you think. It’s always your thinking about the situation, not the situation itself.

8. Most conflict comes from people wanting to be understood, not from genuine disagreement.

Arguments escalate because both people feel unheard.

If you stop trying to win and start trying to understand, most conflicts defuse immediately.

People just want to feel seen. Give them that rather than asserting your egoic dominance, and watch the tension evaporate.

9. What annoys you in others is often something you’re uncomfortable with in yourself.

The traits that trigger you most reveal your own unexamined shadows.

The person who’s ‘too loud’ bothers you because you’ve suppressed your own voice.

The ‘lazy’ colleague irritates you because you’re exhausted from overworking.

Your reactions are mirrors, and, as such, do you really need to give a f***?

10. People’s opinions of you are none of your business.

What others think about you is their reality, not yours.

You’ll never control it, and trying to will exhaust you.

Let them think what they want. They will misunderstand you anyway.

Even you don’t truly know yourself.

Your job is to live aligned with your own values, not to manage everyone else’s perception.

11. Expecting consistency from others sets you up for disappointment.

People are not robots.

Their moods, personalities, preferences and tastes are continually changing.

And it’s all to do with — you guessed it — the state of their thoughts in the moment.

The friend who was reliable last year might be overwhelmed with a new job this year.

The partner who used to be patient might be stressed today because she’s lost her sense of purpose.

Release the expectation that people stay the same. Flow with who they are today.

12. The less you need from people, the more freely you can love them.

When your peace depends on others behaving a certain way, every interaction becomes transactional.

When you keep score, you inadvertently become an asshole.

When you stop needing others to be different, you can finally see them clearly. And they will sense this shift in you, too.

This is where real connection lives:

In acceptance, never expectation.

None of these truths requires you to become a doormat or tolerate abuse.

You can still have boundaries. You can still walk away from negative people. You can still advocate for your badass self.

But you do all of it from a place of real peace, not from the exhausting prison of needing others to change before you can be okay.

That’s freedom most never taste.

These truths are powerful, but understanding them intellectually isn’t the same as living them.

When you truly grasp how your mind creates your experience of other people amazing things happen.

Your relationships transform, your stress dissolves, and you stop being a prisoner to others’ moods and opinions.

That’s what my Untethered Mind course gives you: a clear process for breaking free from the psychological patterns that keep you stressed and reactive. You’ll see situations clearly, respond with compassion, and finally experience real peace.

If you’re ready to stop letting other people control your inner state, get instant access to Untethered Mind here.

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