12 surprising, totally counterintuitive truths about people that simplify your life

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Back to the article…

I struggled to make sense of people for decades.

Once I understood the nuances of how people actually work, rather than how we pretend they do, things became easier.

Most of us operate on polite fictions about human nature that make us anxious, confused, and exhausted.

Here are twelve truths I picked up over the years that flip the script and make navigating life far more simple…

Most people would rather stay comfortable and miserable than risk discomfort for change.

This is why your broke friend won’t start that business and your unhappy buddy won’t leave that relationship.

Fear beats logic.

People respect you more when you set boundaries, not when you’re endlessly available.

Ironically, being always available makes you more forgettable.

Saying no and not always being there increases your value in others’ eyes.

Most people aren’t thinking about you at all, even when you’re right there.

They’re too busy worrying about what you think of them, or their own problems.

This means 97% of your social anxiety is about a conversation that isn’t even happening.

Confidence matters more than competence in first impressions.

Just because someone talks confidently doesn’t mean they aren’t talking bullshit.

But they’ll likey get the job, the date, and the attention anyway.

Most advice people give you is just them talking to themselves.

They’re working through their own issues out loud.

Listen politely, then do what makes sense for you.

People don’t want you to be perfect, but they do want you to be real.

Your flaws make you relatable, your mistakes make you trustworthy. Plus they make others feel better about themselves.

Perfection creates distance, humanity creates connection.

The people who talk the most about their values usually live them the least.

Watch what people do when nobody’s watching.

Words are performance, but actions are always truth.

Most people would rather be entertained than informed.

You can be right all day long, but if you’re boring, few will listen.

Make your point in some way interesting, or don’t expect much.

People forget what you said, but remember how you made them feel.

This is why the charismatic idiot gets further than the awkward genius who came across a bit rude.

Emotional impact beats intellectual accuracy more times than we’d comfortably believe.

People resist being told what to do, even when they asked for advice.

Give someone the answer directly and they’ll argue.

Help them discover it themselves and they’ll think they’re brilliant, and like you more for that.

People don’t dislike you for being different. They dislike you for reminding them of their own compromises.

Your freedom, your choices, and your refusal to play their gamea holds up a mirror.

They’re not angry at you. They’re angry at themselves and their own shortcomings.

The people who get offended on behalf of others are looking for status.

Genuine compassion is quiet, free of virtue-signalling.

The woke mob aren’t necessarily good people. They’re just aware of the status they believe they lack.

You never hear about the charity work of the best people.

Performative outrage is really just hungry for applause.

Thoughts, share them below.

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