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9 ideas that will make you instantly more compassionate
Life’s definitely too short to go around being a harsh judge.
Sure, some of the stuff many people do is downright dumbo dumb.
And I do believe there’s a place for boundaries and not agreeing with everything the world foists on us. It’s safety.
But, when we stew in our frustration of others, the person who loses out the most in the end?
You, buddy.
Over years of stress, I learned that life gets far easier when we can develop the compassionate part in us. Not from a place of weakness — but total strength.
Here are some ideas that helped me see others differently:
1. Assume a wider context.
Most people see random poor behaviour.
The father who snapped at his child? He’s fighting a battle you might be missing.
Train yourself to spot pain’s context, not just its symptoms.
2. Understand the power of thoughts.
Here’s an idea from a mentor that helped me drop my general frustration for others by over 70%, pretty much over-night:
‘We’re all just doing the best we can given the thinking we have moment by moment.’
We behave based, not on our realities, but on our thoughts.
This applies to you to. You did things you regretted, but that felt totally the right thing to do at the time because of your thinking.
It’s a great way to forgive yourself and others, and uncover the warmth of compassion you have for everyone.
3. Get curious.
Instead of judging someone’s results, get curious about their process.
This isn’t about thinking, ‘Why can’t they do it?’
It’s about asking the deeper questions: ‘What’s making this hard for them?’
Even if you don’t know the full answer, your compassionate mind will kick in, fending off any judgey conclusions.
4. Remember your mistakes.
Next time you’re about to fuss about someone else’s choices, just think back real quick to the dumb decisions you made in your life.
Humans aren’t without flaws, and neither are you (you’re a human too, by the way).
5. Master the reframe reflex
Your brain’s first interpretation to some moment is rarely compassionate.
That’s a survival instinct. But your second thought after taking a breath?
That’s your superpower. It’s your deeper mind talking.
Practice instant reframing. For example, ‘They’re not lazy, they’re exhausted.’
6. Collect hero origin stories.
Everyone who irritates you is the hero of their own story. You gotta find it.
That insufferable colleague? They might be the first in their family to graduate.
That slow cashier? Maybe they’re working three jobs.
Maybe you just have to make it up in your head. You design how you respond.
Everyone can be a hero in some form.
7. Ask questions.
Division stems from a lack of understanding.
That’s not to say we can’t do stupid or bad things. But when we lack understanding, we struggle to be compassionate, and this makes us sour-faced anger zombies. So ask questions.
Why are they the way they are?
The more you know, the more you’ll find a natural love rise up.
8 Use the Time Machine Test.
Would your future self be proud of your present reaction?
Would your past self need the compassion you’re withholding from others?
Time gives perspective. Use it.
9. Watch how you respond to reading this.
Yes, this very article. Is it pulling at you emotionally?
If so, you can see the power of compassion. You can feel it’s healing power right now as you read this.
Isn’t that enough to know it’s always the right choice?
If reading this didn’t bring a tear to your eye, you may have a soul blacker than coal.
Time for a re-read ;).
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Very good points! Thank you!!
This frame of mind is vital in today’s divided world, where we all have been assaulted by the powers that be, constantly villainizing ‘the other’, and provoking discord amongst our own communities. We must understand ourselves and overcome the fears and resentment we were gaslit into internalizing in the name of power and control. Thank you.