9 subtle reasons people keep disrespecting you

And how to find self-respect in the process

Painting of a rather perturbed Jungle ape by my friend Priscilla, who’s an AI with a bicycle chain for bling.

'Respect is earned,' they say.

This is true.

You want to focus on being a person of integrity who overcomes challenges and puts effort into worthwhile things.

This is how I learned to gain respect.

But subtle, everyday behaviours can instantly colour other people's opinions of you.

Here are some examples:

You mistreat those around you.

I find it very difficult to respect the person I'm with if they unnecessarily mistreat service staff, for example.

It suggests, somewhat ironically, a lack of self-respect.

Why?

Because if you genuinely respect yourself, you wouldn't operate as though care for people should be scarce.

Do things you're ashamed about.

We all slip into bad habits here and there.

But if this becomes something that defines you, it will trickle into your persona. This ongoing self-disrespect and even shame will be felt by others. It will infect your posture and your demeanour.

Quit bad habits and hold yourself accountable.

Do more of what makes you feel good and proud, even when no one's looking.

Visibly dependent on approval.

Respected people do not rely on anyone's validation.

Why not? Because they already live in a self-loving existence, brimming with all the validation they'd ever need.

If you rely on others like you to be happy, it will show.

You will come across as a needy puppy dog.

Don't let others finish their sentences.

This wouldn't deserve its own point if it wasn't so prevalent.

I was in a long-distance taxi recently, and the driver would have received 5X the tip I gave him if he had actually allowed me to finish saying what I wanted to say.

But he kept cutting in.

It made him look like a child, and my respect for him was left at the pickup point.

You make life harder for yourself.

People who have moved past a constructed sense of 'inadequacy' (which I believe we ALL have to work through as we mature) are conscious about what adds complexity to their lives.

If you think there's something wrong with you, you might be inadvertently incorporating complexity into your choices to reflect this false belief about who you think you are.

Don't overthink it.

Regularly make assessments on how to simplify your life.

This is self-respecting.

You will be propelled, and others will respect you for living true to your REAL, adequate self.

Stand for everything.

Perhaps you took 'being open' too literally, and you agree with everything under the sun.

That's nice, but people are more likely to like and trust people who create some definition of what they believe.

This doesn't mean getting into arguments. This is about showing us what you stand for and operating under a set of values.

If anything, this will inspire those around you to do the same.

Easily ruffled.

I know it's not always easy to keep a cool head when something triggers you.

I was known for throwing wobblers as a young gun, particularly on the sports field. But I always found myself feeling ashamed after my tantrum.

There's a reason for this. Keeping calm is maturity.

It maintains harmony and keeps you from acting without thought.

Have no defined limits.

Respected people have edges.

They exert boundaries all the time.

They respect their own time and honour their main life objectives. They say NO to things that undercut their personal satisfaction.

Those who are overly accommodating and try to please everyone lose respect.

Fall short of promises.

If you don't do what you say, you'll do, no matter how 'insignificant,' it gets noticed.

People store this in their memory banks.

You're becoming synonymous with being out of integrity. You're not trustworthy.

Always follow through in action what you said you would do.

—

Thanks for reading.

Remember, if you want to join the community, you can become a paying member.

You also get:

• Access all courses and future courses (worth $50+ each).

• Free instant access to Untethered Mind course to reduce anxiety (worth $290+)

  • Recent review: “I hesitate to say this because it’s such a bold statement, but this is the best course I’ve ever taken...ever...university included. Alex. Thank you." ~ George Sisneros, coach.

• Receive members’ only interactive threads and articles as well as regular free articles.

• Support me as a writer.

• Access all archive posts and videos.