Untethered Mind

Share this post

If you ever feel alone, read this:

www.untetheredmind.co

If you ever feel alone, read this:

Alex Mathers
Jan 28, 2023
37
9
Share
Follow Alex’s Instagram for more of his drawings and bonus ideas.

Look at you, scrolling twitter, hundreds of followers, super connected.

World at your fingertips. 3.7 degrees away from anyone on the planet.

Face lit up blue glow in the dim light of your bedroom.

And yet, you feel alone. At least some of the time.

You may even feel alone in a crowd.

Being alone is one thing, but feeling alone is something different.

What does it mean, to feel alone?

I’ve learned for myself, it’s essentially this:

We think we need another to feel whole.

We hold this thought, and we apply a pressure to our lives.

Or some variation thereof:

‘I am not appreciated the way I want to be.’

‘They don’t respect me enough.’

‘I need higher levels of social validation.’

‘I wish my words were heard.’

‘I wish I wasn’t so different.’

You entertain these thoughts, and you feel the power of them in your gut.

‘I’m all alone.’

So you open up your app again looking for a cure to this sense of lack in your soul.

‘Maybe someone liked my tweet.’

‘Maybe I receive that life-affirming email.’

‘This way I won’t feel so alone anymore.’

‘I know, I’ll message Sally. Maybe her response will spark me into feeling whole - connected again...’

But the feeling soon fades.

And you’re back in your dark room, alone again.

Let’s look at what feeling ‘alone’ really means:

It is to feel your judgements about what you need to be happy.

Your judgements.

You are the only force at play here.

You are creating an ‘alone’ reality.

The more you reflect on this, you begin to see that aloneness is really a choice.

You see that you already have everything you think you need from other people.

You are made of that calm, peaceful sense of security by default.

You are validation.

You are the embodiment of happiness.

You are whole.

You just thought you weren’t.

From this secure reality you see that ‘aloneness’ is an illusion.

You are here, connected, and alive - with or without people.

And it is from this place of understanding that you can be fluid and free to step outside of yourself and connect with another.

You were never alone in the first place.

We were connected all along.

🔆

—

Thanks for reading.

Remember, if you want to join the community, you can become a paying member.

You also get:

  • Access all courses and future courses (worth $50+ each).

  • Free instant access to Untethered Mind course to reduce anxiety (worth $290+)

    • Recent review: “I hesitate to say this because it’s such a bold statement, but this is the best course I’ve ever taken...ever...university included. Alex. Thank you." ~ George Sisneros, coach.

  • Free access to Fearless Program ($199) - reduce social anxiety through various exercises.

  • Receive Thursday members’ only articles as well as regular free articles.

  • Support me as a writer.

  • Access all archive posts and videos.

37
9
Share
9 Comments
Patty Gillard
Jan 29Liked by Alex Mathers

“It is to feel your judgments about what you need to be happy.”

I felt such judgments tonight and - having read your article a few times, earlier today - was quickly able to separate myself from the judgments that were saying “something is missing. In fact, there was nothing missing. There was just a judgment that this thing/situation should be other than the way it is. There was a sense of freedom in that moment. This article said something I’ve heard a hundred times in a way that it really sank in. Thank you, Alex.

Expand full comment
Reply
1 reply by Alex Mathers
Lindylou
Writes Lindylou - is it true?
Jan 28Liked by Alex Mathers

I love this. I feel better around people and despise myself for this “ defect”. It does seem to be intrinsically built into me and causes me much loneliness. Thank you for such good points.

I just want to ask you though- what about when you really want a hug? Do you suppress/ignore that ache?

( Asking for friend lol). Thanks Alex. Linda x

Expand full comment
Reply
4 replies by Alex Mathers and others
7 more comments…
Top
New
Community

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Alex Mathers
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing