Playing it safe is eating us all from the inside

Here’s how playing dangerously leads to a happy life.

Untethered Mind, Sunday Edition, 4-min read.

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Most people have no idea how much they suppress within themselves to fit in.

Hiding behind a mask is the source of a lot of misery, and most people don’t even get they’re doing it to themselves.

I know this intimately because I’ve hidden parts of myself out of shame for most of my life.

I have friends who seem smiley, sweet, and pleasant most of the time but hide a growing resentment.

I’m not about to get all Freudian psychology on you this early in the morning.

But the simple way to put this is that we hide many things from others to appear ‘normal.’

We hide our anger. We hide our honest opinions. We hide our desires. We hide our true expression.

We do this to avoid the perceived and anticipated pain of rejection.

We don’t want to be rejected because we associate deep pain with rejection.

So we avoid, hide, suppress and play it safe.

And it eats us up from the inside.

This isn’t to say we all need to start outwardly expressing our deepest lusts, desires, angers and jealousies.

But we do need to acknowledge and accept these things in ourselves.

We need to make peace with who we are and accept that not everyone will like everything about us.

That’s okay. That’s on them anyway.

But what I learned over years of anxiety and deep frustration was that there is an incredible opportunity for relief and healing when we understand this.

How?

We get real with ourselves and let go of the bullshit. We start to entertain the idea that we are not obliged to show only one side of ourselves.

We embrace our perceived flaws.

We move towards integration.

We look at what society frowns upon and regard this innate human tendency with disdain.

We use what society tends to reject, and we begin to take our power back.

When you do these things, this is what will happen:

• You will prioritise yourself more.

• You will open up to your imperfections.

• You will say what you mean.

• You explore what seems dangerous.

• You will navigate life with more of a sense of play.

• You will stop trying to be impressive and start genuinely caring.

• You will more often risk looking ‘bad’ or being ‘wrong.’

• You will take more courage in the face of potential rejection.

• You will healthily use your aggression.

• You will do what’s right, even if it upsets some.

Note, none of these things is to the detriment of society and the people around you. It’s a massive net positive.

You stewing in your own fear is the net negative. Nobody wins.

You suppressing who you really are and what you know is true is keeping you miserable and weak.

I call this exploring your dark side. Except none of this is dark.

We’re letting light in.

We’re connecting with the true, happy, no-bullshit, creative, upbeat self we know we are.

Become aware of your need to avoid rejection.

Realise it’s holding you back.

Take steps to explore showing more of yourself.

That’s how to really live.

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P.S. If you’d like guidance on how to manage your thoughts so you are free of continual self-judgement, you’ll love my course: Untethered Mind.

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Oh hey, You’ll also love my recent book: ‘The Art of Self Respect: Twenty-five subtle habits for cultivating deep self-respect and attracting the respect of others‘ — get your copy today.