I think the obstacle is trying to fit our new selves into our old life.
When we stop playing it safe, we push away some people. They "like" the constrained, false version. They won't probably like the limitless, authentic version.
you’re spot on with this. Why is it we seam to stay in the same life? I mean if we are breaking through to a different version of us then that new version requires a new life. A new environment.
Your article beautifully captures the tension between self-suppression and the freedom of authenticity. I have just read a book called the comfort Crisis which is wonderful and gave me a bit of a mind shift, like your article.
Fantastic post! Can relate to the fear of revealing who I am. Spent years in frustration trying to fit in. In shining light on the avoided darkness came a realization - the power I’d allowed to be held up in shame and guilt is now available to rechannel into the life I’d never before attempted to pursue.
I admire how you can write so concisely about topics that are dark and often hidden. It seems that with age it becomes easier to let go of hiding who we truly are.
I wonder if our tendency to hide is a reflex carried over from adolescence and early adulthood, when our primary instinct was to fit in and avoid rejection.
"We need to make peace with who we are and accept that not everyone will like everything about us."
Just like we don't like everything about them, and this is ok.
And this:
"We get real with ourselves and let go of the bullshit. We start to entertain the idea that we are not obliged to show only one side of ourselves."
Because we have many sides: I am a father, a son, a brother, a friend, an entrepreneur, an engineers, a consultant, a football ⚽️ fan, a music lover, and more...
I think the obstacle is trying to fit our new selves into our old life.
When we stop playing it safe, we push away some people. They "like" the constrained, false version. They won't probably like the limitless, authentic version.
Losing them is inevitable.
But we'll find new people.
Or realize we feel better alone with ourselves.
Yes it comes down to being willing to be disliked.
"The courage to be disliked" is the self-improvement book that lost resonated with me. And I read dozens.
it's a great one! One of my top ten
you’re spot on with this. Why is it we seam to stay in the same life? I mean if we are breaking through to a different version of us then that new version requires a new life. A new environment.
well said, Ivan!
Your article beautifully captures the tension between self-suppression and the freedom of authenticity. I have just read a book called the comfort Crisis which is wonderful and gave me a bit of a mind shift, like your article.
Thanks Jon, you put it well. That book is on my reading list.
“You will stop trying to be impressive and start genuinely caring.”👈love this!
Yessss
With some of us - me included, you ALWAYS know where you stand.
👌🏼
Fantastic post! Can relate to the fear of revealing who I am. Spent years in frustration trying to fit in. In shining light on the avoided darkness came a realization - the power I’d allowed to be held up in shame and guilt is now available to rechannel into the life I’d never before attempted to pursue.
Thanks Michael! All the best to you for your next phase!
I admire how you can write so concisely about topics that are dark and often hidden. It seems that with age it becomes easier to let go of hiding who we truly are.
I wonder if our tendency to hide is a reflex carried over from adolescence and early adulthood, when our primary instinct was to fit in and avoid rejection.
Thank you Marieke! Yes, there is certainly a connection - and it is do with social and self programming and habits.
Dear Alex/Joe-Kwame,
pure Life-Guidance - Personality Shaping, Authentic, Courageous....
Alive and Vulnerable in Uncertainty, Complexity and Ambiguity.
I wish your readers to achieve this grandness.
Stay as such alive and aware any time...
Namasté, Joe-Kwame
Thank you!
This:
"We need to make peace with who we are and accept that not everyone will like everything about us."
Just like we don't like everything about them, and this is ok.
And this:
"We get real with ourselves and let go of the bullshit. We start to entertain the idea that we are not obliged to show only one side of ourselves."
Because we have many sides: I am a father, a son, a brother, a friend, an entrepreneur, an engineers, a consultant, a football ⚽️ fan, a music lover, and more...
Showing all our sides should feel good and be ok.
And I was not the same person I was 10 years ago.
Are you?
Thanks for the post Alex.