37 Comments
User's avatar
Georgia Way's avatar

It took the first 20 years of my life and overly critical parents and family to get there. Initially it wasn’t “genuine comfort” it was “don’t give a damn what you think about me” rebellion. Guess I just couldn’t buy that I was doing EVERYTHING wrong. Doing life my way and living and learning through the failures and victories created my very own self confidence.

Alex Mathers's avatar

it took me a while too

kaportka's avatar

"A twenty-minute walk in the cold air will do more for your self-image than a week of positive affirmations." That's exactly what I did today, and my mood instantly lit up!

Alex Mathers's avatar

yesss - me too!

The Editor's avatar

All of this is very true. This is coming from a person who believes we know very little and the more we know the more we realize we don't know. We grow in self acceptance by valuing ourselves. When we act to meet a need of ours we are saying our need is important, therefore, we important. A need is also to care for others, but not to the point we hurt ourselves. Self sacrifice is a virtue when we have the bandwidth, and often we do. When we don't and hurt ourselves, we self sabotage and work against ourselves. Very nice post

Pajay Haykins's avatar

"Creating puts you in a position of agency rather than consumption. It has you contributing."

This is nothing but the fact. Nothing builds confidence. It builds self-esteem. It stirs you away from a position of lack to a position of abundance.

Alex Mathers's avatar

thanks man :)

Avaia's avatar

Learning to like yourself is such a strength that a lot of people are absolutely not prepared to do because to get there you have to see the parts of you that need work.

And being able to work on them requires you accept yourself for your imperfections that make you human.

When we stop looking to be perfect and rather just strive to be human, the release of pressure itself gives us the capacity to be better than we ever imagined 👏🏼

Mjosagrl's avatar

I love this! No one is perfect, but in the pursuit of bettering oneself, you have to remember you’re only human. Shame in your imperfections won’t get you far, let along give you a fulfilling life.

Alex Mathers's avatar

well said Avaia!

What Fed Me's avatar

I particularly love 13. You can do it all but unless you stop treating everything as an optimisation ticklist then everything feels hollow.

Debra Douglas's avatar

Excellent!

Alex Mathers's avatar

thanks Debra!

Jerald Mortos's avatar

Your idea: You protect your peace when you leave disrespectful people is a good reminder brother!

Xhoni (alias Joachim) Lindenau's avatar

Dears, Alex/Xhon,

Everything you need for good life and loving yourself is already in you.

How can you find it, while routinely focusing on the outside. It brings you distraction from your inner being - your good virtues. Productive, peaceful and harmonious creativity - Inside out.

Honesty

Compassion

Courage

Integrity

4 cardinal,ethical values

These create traits of well-being, solid stand in the moment you and only you are in.

Self-Love and inner peace will prevail.

Xhon🕊

Zarka's avatar

Self love leads to loving eberything around you. Accepting self leads to accepting others. Round and round as you say.

Shruti's avatar

A good reminder, thank you!

oz's avatar

you missed sitting in dark silence for hours rethinking everything

Assumer's avatar

I am exactly twenty years old, and I’ve realized that reading about experiences passed down from others and reflecting on their advice has a significant impact on building my identity. That’s why I don’t believe it’s a mere coincidence that I found this app right when I needed it. Every decision I’ve made so far has brought me to this point. Currently, I am both reading your writings and trying my best to convey my own thoughts. Who knows, perhaps we will cross paths again. It was a pleasure meeting you.

𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐚 ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚'s avatar

as someone who's still figuring things out, i love that i stumbled upon this! such a good reminder :))

Mjosagrl's avatar

Happiness is in our hands. I, like many others, struggle with people pleasing. I’m still a work in progress, but I know I can only give from a full cup. Loving others is way more satisfying when you love yourself also.