It took the first 20 years of my life and overly critical parents and family to get there. Initially it wasn’t “genuine comfort” it was “don’t give a damn what you think about me” rebellion. Guess I just couldn’t buy that I was doing EVERYTHING wrong. Doing life my way and living and learning through the failures and victories created my very own self confidence.
"A twenty-minute walk in the cold air will do more for your self-image than a week of positive affirmations." That's exactly what I did today, and my mood instantly lit up!
All of this is very true. This is coming from a person who believes we know very little and the more we know the more we realize we don't know. We grow in self acceptance by valuing ourselves. When we act to meet a need of ours we are saying our need is important, therefore, we important. A need is also to care for others, but not to the point we hurt ourselves. Self sacrifice is a virtue when we have the bandwidth, and often we do. When we don't and hurt ourselves, we self sabotage and work against ourselves. Very nice post
I am exactly twenty years old, and I’ve realized that reading about experiences passed down from others and reflecting on their advice has a significant impact on building my identity. That’s why I don’t believe it’s a mere coincidence that I found this app right when I needed it. Every decision I’ve made so far has brought me to this point. Currently, I am both reading your writings and trying my best to convey my own thoughts. Who knows, perhaps we will cross paths again. It was a pleasure meeting you.
Learning to like yourself is such a strength that a lot of people are absolutely not prepared to do because to get there you have to see the parts of you that need work.
And being able to work on them requires you accept yourself for your imperfections that make you human.
When we stop looking to be perfect and rather just strive to be human, the release of pressure itself gives us the capacity to be better than we ever imagined 👏🏼
I love this! No one is perfect, but in the pursuit of bettering oneself, you have to remember you’re only human. Shame in your imperfections won’t get you far, let along give you a fulfilling life.
I like how this frames self-esteem as evidence, not affirmation. You start liking yourself more when your daily actions quietly prove you’re someone worth trusting.
I would add that every person I have met who likes themselves has always seemed extremely calm and content. It’s like they don’t care if anyone knows they like themselves, they know it and that’s all that matters. I’m still working on liking me.
Happiness is in our hands. I, like many others, struggle with people pleasing. I’m still a work in progress, but I know I can only give from a full cup. Loving others is way more satisfying when you love yourself also.
The list is good. The missing one for me: stop performing the version of yourself that earned the love you grew up with. That’s the habit underneath all the others.
And the best part of every single one of these points - they are so simple and easy to do. They don’t cost a single cent, and all it takes is making conscious decisions to allow space for these behaviors.
I’m always so amazed at how easy it is for us to rationalize not doing these things without realizing that the cost is much greater in the long run…
It took the first 20 years of my life and overly critical parents and family to get there. Initially it wasn’t “genuine comfort” it was “don’t give a damn what you think about me” rebellion. Guess I just couldn’t buy that I was doing EVERYTHING wrong. Doing life my way and living and learning through the failures and victories created my very own self confidence.
it took me a while too
"A twenty-minute walk in the cold air will do more for your self-image than a week of positive affirmations." That's exactly what I did today, and my mood instantly lit up!
yesss - me too!
All of this is very true. This is coming from a person who believes we know very little and the more we know the more we realize we don't know. We grow in self acceptance by valuing ourselves. When we act to meet a need of ours we are saying our need is important, therefore, we important. A need is also to care for others, but not to the point we hurt ourselves. Self sacrifice is a virtue when we have the bandwidth, and often we do. When we don't and hurt ourselves, we self sabotage and work against ourselves. Very nice post
thank you!
"Creating puts you in a position of agency rather than consumption. It has you contributing."
This is nothing but the fact. Nothing builds confidence. It builds self-esteem. It stirs you away from a position of lack to a position of abundance.
thanks man :)
I am exactly twenty years old, and I’ve realized that reading about experiences passed down from others and reflecting on their advice has a significant impact on building my identity. That’s why I don’t believe it’s a mere coincidence that I found this app right when I needed it. Every decision I’ve made so far has brought me to this point. Currently, I am both reading your writings and trying my best to convey my own thoughts. Who knows, perhaps we will cross paths again. It was a pleasure meeting you.
love it
Learning to like yourself is such a strength that a lot of people are absolutely not prepared to do because to get there you have to see the parts of you that need work.
And being able to work on them requires you accept yourself for your imperfections that make you human.
When we stop looking to be perfect and rather just strive to be human, the release of pressure itself gives us the capacity to be better than we ever imagined 👏🏼
I love this! No one is perfect, but in the pursuit of bettering oneself, you have to remember you’re only human. Shame in your imperfections won’t get you far, let along give you a fulfilling life.
heck yea
well said Avaia!
I love ittt, can you write a part two with some niche and small habits that we rarely think of but they are a true sign of self love and confidence?
sure will
I particularly love 13. You can do it all but unless you stop treating everything as an optimisation ticklist then everything feels hollow.
yess!
I like how this frames self-esteem as evidence, not affirmation. You start liking yourself more when your daily actions quietly prove you’re someone worth trusting.
I would add that every person I have met who likes themselves has always seemed extremely calm and content. It’s like they don’t care if anyone knows they like themselves, they know it and that’s all that matters. I’m still working on liking me.
yes :)
as someone who's still figuring things out, i love that i stumbled upon this! such a good reminder :))
thanks!
Happiness is in our hands. I, like many others, struggle with people pleasing. I’m still a work in progress, but I know I can only give from a full cup. Loving others is way more satisfying when you love yourself also.
thanks!
Yes! Decide to enjoy it all! Be the author of your own love story - plot twists included. Thank you for this list - great way to start my day.
The list is good. The missing one for me: stop performing the version of yourself that earned the love you grew up with. That’s the habit underneath all the others.
thanks Leena
Excellent!
thanks Debra!
And the best part of every single one of these points - they are so simple and easy to do. They don’t cost a single cent, and all it takes is making conscious decisions to allow space for these behaviors.
I’m always so amazed at how easy it is for us to rationalize not doing these things without realizing that the cost is much greater in the long run…
Thanks for sharing 🫶🏻
Much appreciated!