Why endless choice is making us unhappy, and what to do about it today
Untethered Mind, Sunday Edition, 3.5-min read.
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I continually ask my readers what they’re struggling with, and I’ve noticed a common thread.
Many of us grapple with the frustration of not knowing what to do. I can sense a form of fatigue in many that might stem from the most common form of overwhelm of our time:
Choice.
But isn’t this a privilege?
Not necessarily.
In a 2000 study by Lyengar and Lepper, researchers set up a display at a food stall offering samples of jam. On some days, they’d offer a selection of 24 different flavours to the public, while on others, they’d offer only six.
Although the larger selection days drew in a bigger crowd, they found more people bought jam on days when there was far less choice.
This is ‘choice overload’ in action — when we are literally paralysed by choice. Fewer people bought even though there was more choice.
This inability to make a decision may save us money in this instance, but it also makes us stressed. When faced with many options, there’s always that nagging thought that says you missed out on the better choice.
Hundreds of options compete for your attention.
We worry that we are making poor decisions.
And let’s be honest. We are inundated with options:
Places to travel.
Platforms to grow audiences on.
Potential suitors on online dating apps.
Online hustles to pursue.
YouTube videos to catch up on.
Career paths to follow.
Tech gadgets to buy.
Organic sweets to tickle us after a savoury dinner.
Hell, even types of toothpaste.
It’s a lot.
And all of this choice is amplified through social media.
We are continually shown how people we have grown to like and trust are using all these options in real time with big, smiley faces.
Amanda espouses the freedom of going on hundreds of dates with novel, great-looking men each year.
Jalpreet vlogs about his escapades to travel to as many countries as he can.
Nathan’s video game reviews make us itch to leave our bleak concerns behind and replace them with heart-pounding, iris-popping escapes to magical digital worlds.
We also see many cool people making tons of monthly cash and succeeding in their various pursuits. We want that too.
We can see the possibility of doing all of it. It’s tasty and colourful and interesting.
Just like all that jam.
But the range of options, beautiful as it is, is sending one clear message:
If you say yes to one thing, you’re saying no to more.
And few of us want to say no to something beautiful.
So we stall.
Could this be why so many of us fail to launch?
Could this be part of why so many of us are so exhausted?
We’re both distracted by choice, so we see little progress, AND we’re bothered by a low-level fear of missing out. It buzzes like a lost fly at the back of our skulls.
‘You could be doing more,’ it whispers.
This is where you need to make a change and take responsibility for the next phase of your life.
Realise the dangers that choice overload presents.
Work with it.
What can we do?
We must actively reduce our choices and make peace with the options we leave behind. This is both a logistical task and a psychological one.
Most of all, it comes down to courage.
Choose to do less. Be content with doing less. Honour your perspective by doing more with less.
Realise you don’t need to do most of the things you think you should do.
Thinking otherwise is making you miserable, so honour your happiness.
While everyone is running around like a headless peacock in a pinball machine, you’re here, taking a breath…
Settling on less.
Because real abundance is found in less, not more.
Thanks for reading!
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I love this! I often tell my clients that while they may not be able to do it all, they can do a lot… just not all at once. Just choose. If you change your mind later, great. Choose something else!
The inability to make decisions and risk failure was a huge barrier to my sense of wellbeing. Practicing making hundreds of tiny choices and looking for the gems in all activities, is as important as pruning the distractions that rob me of my passion to flourish and prosper, and letting go of ‘what if’s’. Timely message, Alex!