11 Comments
User's avatar
I live in Sedona's avatar

I tend to be too nice and smiley. When I worked at a tennis club when I was 35 or so, I smiled at everyone who came by the front desk to check in for a court.

Then the stalking came. I didn't know who it was leaving roses on my front porch; cards with sexual content; or knew my schedule.

I had to call the police and they said, "Do I smile a lot at work?" They thought it was an infatuated teenager.

My husband told me to be rude as my rudeness was every one's "nice."

They ended up catching the guy. Sure enough he was a teenager that thought I would leave my husband and turn to him!

Being too nice can have "side affects."

Expand full comment
Alex Mathers's avatar

Love this story! (Even if you probably didn't love the stalking) - thanks!

Expand full comment
Deea Lucia's avatar

Thank you 😊

Expand full comment
Alex Mathers's avatar

🤝🏼

Expand full comment
Cassie Finnell's avatar

Also, Just f****** like make it clear. I did not mean that in a mean way Whatsoever, not even a little bit mean like I'm just being me and I think it's important that we all just be we You know what I mean.

Expand full comment
Alex Mathers's avatar

F***ing facts!

Expand full comment
Cassie Finnell's avatar

Thank you for this and Ah n**** I aint f****** too nice at all. Not at all. And I f****** have no problem with watching a lot of m************ fall so get on board or get off. I don't give a f***, but I'm here and guess what? We're all gonna deal with it, my dear, ha ha ha ha ha.

Expand full comment
I live in Sedona's avatar

Side EFFECTS.

Expand full comment
Lakshmi Sharath's avatar

I agree . People pleasing also never helps

Expand full comment
Alex Mathers's avatar

right

Expand full comment
Dr. Louise Schriewer's avatar

One idea I came across that I find helpful is the difference between being nice and being kind. It's hard to describe but you can be kind without being nice (for instance, when setting a much needed boundary or giving someone feedback they need to hear that's tough to give). When we are kind, we honor ourselves and the other person.

Expand full comment