I tend to be too nice and smiley. When I worked at a tennis club when I was 35 or so, I smiled at everyone who came by the front desk to check in for a court.
Then the stalking came. I didn't know who it was leaving roses on my front porch; cards with sexual content; or knew my schedule.
I had to call the police and they said, "Do I smile a lot at work?" They thought it was an infatuated teenager.
My husband told me to be rude as my rudeness was every one's "nice."
They ended up catching the guy. Sure enough he was a teenager that thought I would leave my husband and turn to him!
Also, Just f****** like make it clear. I did not mean that in a mean way Whatsoever, not even a little bit mean like I'm just being me and I think it's important that we all just be we You know what I mean.
Thank you for this and Ah n**** I aint f****** too nice at all. Not at all. And I f****** have no problem with watching a lot of m************ fall so get on board or get off. I don't give a f***, but I'm here and guess what? We're all gonna deal with it, my dear, ha ha ha ha ha.
One idea I came across that I find helpful is the difference between being nice and being kind. It's hard to describe but you can be kind without being nice (for instance, when setting a much needed boundary or giving someone feedback they need to hear that's tough to give). When we are kind, we honor ourselves and the other person.
I tend to be too nice and smiley. When I worked at a tennis club when I was 35 or so, I smiled at everyone who came by the front desk to check in for a court.
Then the stalking came. I didn't know who it was leaving roses on my front porch; cards with sexual content; or knew my schedule.
I had to call the police and they said, "Do I smile a lot at work?" They thought it was an infatuated teenager.
My husband told me to be rude as my rudeness was every one's "nice."
They ended up catching the guy. Sure enough he was a teenager that thought I would leave my husband and turn to him!
Being too nice can have "side affects."
Love this story! (Even if you probably didn't love the stalking) - thanks!
Thank you 😊
🤝🏼
Also, Just f****** like make it clear. I did not mean that in a mean way Whatsoever, not even a little bit mean like I'm just being me and I think it's important that we all just be we You know what I mean.
F***ing facts!
Thank you for this and Ah n**** I aint f****** too nice at all. Not at all. And I f****** have no problem with watching a lot of m************ fall so get on board or get off. I don't give a f***, but I'm here and guess what? We're all gonna deal with it, my dear, ha ha ha ha ha.
Side EFFECTS.
I agree . People pleasing also never helps
right
One idea I came across that I find helpful is the difference between being nice and being kind. It's hard to describe but you can be kind without being nice (for instance, when setting a much needed boundary or giving someone feedback they need to hear that's tough to give). When we are kind, we honor ourselves and the other person.